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the other side

It seems to be a recurring theme in my life that, during seasons of waiting, things move very slowly for quite some time before moving all at once.

You might remember the doubt that kickstarted this blog two years ago, when cooking was all I could think about and yet being able to attend culinary school was still a pipe dream.  It took about a full year after my parents heard the emotionally charged confession of my dreams - a year spent researching and visiting schools in secret, feeling behind peers who were landing their first full-time jobs, looking for scholarships, waiting for the right start date, waiting for my parents to come around, wondering if it would ever happen - until my dad suggested one day that we drive up to the ICC in San Jose for an open house.  What happened after that is still a whirlwind in my memory; no more than two weeks later, I was staring back at my first chef instructor in New York. 

The past eleven weeks have been riddled with a more costly kind of doubt- I have completed culinary school, my parents are supporting me 100% and I am in a culinary career.  Despite the obstacles that currently stand in the way of that career, I know in my heart that leaving it now would only become a lifetime regret.  And yet, the last few months were filled with nights when one "what if" would lead to another, luring me down a quickly darkening, hypothetical road of failure. 

And it was only because I had gone down that road so many times, only because its every twist and turn had become so deeply etched into my mind, that one day I just needed to get out of my head.



And it was only because I finally got out of my head that I remembered I'm an alumni of a great school and that I'm a short subway ride away from a great career advisor.  And it was only because I saw this advisor that I learned Food Network was still looking for an editorial intern.  And it was only because I learned this that I emailed their department coordinator right away, who asked me to come in for an interview the following day - the last day of their current intern for whom, despite their ongoing search for one, they had yet to find a replacement.

And it was only because I had all this time to think about what I really want, who I really am, what I can do and where I want to go, time to rest and read and write and worry and dream- only because of all this that I poured everything I had into that interview, and meant every word.

 And I truly believe, more than anything, that it was only because of all these things that I received an email this morning telling me I got the job.

Starting this Wednesday.

In the Food. Network. Office.

Before I get carried away with excitement and forget to include the details you will most likely want to know, it's a full-time internship working with the editorial team of the culinary department, which mainly works on content for foodnetwork.com and cookingchannel.com.  My responsibilities will include editing recipes that go onto the site, conducting research for and writing articles and other miscellaneous tasks like helping out with photoshoots or tastings here and there.  It's a 4-6 month commitment, and although there is no guarantee of a job offer afterwards (their full-time paid staff is very small and, understandably, tend to stay there for life), the opportunity is truly what you make of it.  With the exception of a few outside hires who came in with stacked resumes, this internship is the very foot in the door that got most of those lifers where they are now.  In addition to gaining strong editorial skills and making connections, I'll be physically next to their test and studio kitchens where most of the shows we love are filmed.  In short, I'll be the fly on a very, very exciting wall.

In between smiling and laughing and crying and creepily laugh-crying, I've been spending the past four hours simply in awe of the intricate web of events that make up my life.  I could have gone into even more detail, given you even more recent examples of how everything is only happening because everything else happened, but the point is, I'm floored.  I'm amazed and humbled and beyond thankful for this plan that's clearly not my own, and yet is the only one for me.

Thank you for joining me in this crazy ride, for your support and love and prayers.  They mean the world to me and I feel so blessed and affirmed by them.

Here's to the unhypothetical twists and turns that take you exactly where you're meant to be.

2 comments:

  1. congrats michelle! that's so awesome. i'm excited for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    dude, this is awesome. congratulations michelle!!

    ReplyDelete